Going Alone

“I put on a smile and say I’m fine and try to hide the sadness I feel inside. But when I’m alone the tears start to flow and I can no longer hold them inside.”

You know those moments when you want to cry and hug someone, but can’t do either because you don’t want to let yourself break down? the moment when you’re feeling so alone? and everything is hurting you? that you feel so helpless? the only thoughts that are in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally alone, like you don’t mean anything to anyone. all you want to do is tell someone how you feel, but you don’t want their pity, and even if you could tell someone, nothing would come out right. you don’t want to laugh or smile, or whine, or argue, or even be stubborn or difficult, you just want to go to bed and cry and hope this feeling passes, and sometimes it does, but it always seems to come back. you feel like you will probably search your whole life for that one person that you can totally trust that you can love forever, who will never ever hurt you, but you know somewhere deep down that you’ll probably never find her. She probably doesn’t even exist, so you just give up, you want so desperately to be alone, but at the same time you fear it so much.

Alone with you – Alone with me

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4 thoughts on “Going Alone

  1. Hope you don’t mind me dishing out advice. First of all, turn it all into dua- that way none of those feelings and emotions are wasted. They get banked with Allah swt and you either gt the result in this dunya with an amazing wife or you get better than that in the akhirah. Secondly, honestly, only God will fill that space- the perfection of being totally understood, never letting you down, always loving you…people can’t deliver that, only God can. If you haven’t read Yasmin Mogahed’s articles in this stuff, you should, she talks a lot of sense:)

    1. You are right! I have taken into consideration what you have said. Thanks for your advice, and I’m looking forward to read Yasmin Mogahed’s articles. Thank you for being there! 🙂

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