I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know were better letting go. It’s like were scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.
You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It’s never been about what you want; it’s always everyone’s needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you’re okay with that, because they’re in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over, you’ll still be there for her. Because that’s you, that’s who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let go.
I get the whole “She’s the only girl I’ve ever really been in love with” part. It’s hard to let go, hard to move on to someone else and think you’ll never find anyone with such characteristics or chemistry like you two had, but I promise you, once you let go and move on, you’ll find out that, deep down, the only feelings you have for her might be just the fact that you’ll always love her. You may not want her back, you might just be scared to move on without her.
Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want the most, is the person you are best without.