Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Why do you smile so softly,
Why do you appear so happy and wise,
When I can see bits of bad misery,
Dancing in the depths of your eyes.
You know that feeling when you’re just waiting, waiting to get home into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day, that feeling of both relief and desperation? Nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either, and you’re tired, tired of everything, tired of nothing, and you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay, but no one’s going to be there, and you know you have to be strong for yourself because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting, tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else, tired of being strong, and for once, you just want it to be easy, to be simple, to be helped, to be saved, but you know you won’t be, but you’re still hoping and you’re still wishing and you’re still staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.
I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know were better letting go. It’s like were scared to lose what we don’t even really have. Some of us say we’d rather have that something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.
You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It’s never been about what you want; it’s always everyone’s needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you’re okay with that, because they’re in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over, you’ll still be there for her. Because that’s you, that’s who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let go.
I get the whole “She’s the only girl I’ve ever really been in love with” part. It’s hard to let go, hard to move on to someone else and think you’ll never find anyone with such characteristics or chemistry like you two had, but I promise you, once you let go and move on, you’ll find out that, deep down, the only feelings you have for her might be just the fact that you’ll always love her. You may not want her back, you might just be scared to move on without her.
Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes the person you want the most, is the person you are best without.
Timeless wisdom to share with others:
I’ve learned . . . .
that the best classroom in the world
is at the feet of an elderly person.I’ve learned . . . .
that when you’re in love, it shows.I’ve learned . . . .
that just one person saying to me,
“You’ve made my day!” makes my day.I’ve learned . . . .
that I feel better about myself when
I make others feel better about themselves.I’ve learned . . . .
that having a child fall asleep in your
arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.I’ve learned . . . .
that what we have done for ourselves
alone dies with us. What we have done
for others and the world remains and
is immortal.I’ve learned . . . .
that one sincere apology is worth more
than all the roses money can buy.I’ve learned . . . .
that words harshly spoken are as difficult
to retrieve as feathers in a gale.I’ve learned . . . .
that being kind is more important than
being right.I’ve learned . . . .
that you should never say no to a
gift from a child.I’ve learned . . . .
that I can always pray for someone when
I don’t have the strength to help him
in some other way.I’ve learned . . . .
that no matter how serious your life
requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.I’ve learned . . . .
that sometimes all a person needs is a
hand to hold and a heart to understand.I’ve learned . . . .
that simple walks with my father around
the block on summer nights when I was
a child did wonders for me as an adult.I’ve learned . . . .
that life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.I’ve learned . . . .
that money doesn’t buy class.I’ve learned . . . .
that it’s those small daily happenings
that make life so spectacular.I’ve learned . . . .
that once a relationship is over,
if you experienced more smiles than
tears, then it wasn’t a waste of time.I’ve learned . . . .
that under everyone’s hard shell is
someone who wants to be appreciated
and loved.I’ve learned . . . .
never to humiliate another person.
Always give him an honorable way to
back down or out of something and
still save face.I’ve learned . . . .
that the Lord didn’t do it all in one
day. What makes me think I can?I’ve learned . . . .
that if you are still talking about
what you did yesterday, you haven’t
done much today.I’ve learned . . . .
that to ignore the facts does not
change the facts.I’ve learned . . . .
that when you plan to get even with
someone, you are only letting that
person continue to hurt you.I’ve learned . . . .
that you view other people’s children
in a whole different light when you
have some of your own.I’ve learned . . . .
that the older I get, the smarter my
parents become.I’ve learned . . . .
that when your wife simply answers,
“nothing” when you ask her what’s
wrong, you’re in deep trouble.I’ve learned . . . .
that love, not time, heals all wounds.I’ve learned . . . .
that the easiest way for me to grow as
a person is to surround myself with
people smarter than I am.I’ve learned . . . .
that I always think of the right thing
to say when it’s too late.I’ve learned . . . .
that the fire of a past love will always
burn with a small flame.I’ve learned . . . .
that even at the age of forty-nine,
you can still feel like a twelve
year old child when your mother is
talking to you.I’ve learned . . . .
that no matter what their ages or how
far away they may be, you never stop
wanting to keep a protective arm
around your children.I’ve learned . . . .
to gather all the crumbs thrown my way.
They soon form a lovely, thick slice
of life and memories.I’ve learned . . . .
that when you want a garment to shrink,
it won’t, and when you don’t, it will
come out of the dryer and fit your cat!I’ve learned . . . .
that commercials for feminine products
always comes on when you are sitting
in the living room with all men.I’ve learned . . . .
that the kind of adults my children
are now is directly related to the kind
of children I continually told them
they were.I’ve learned . . . .
that everyone you meet deserves to
be greeted with a smile.I’ve learned . . . .
that there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping
with your babies and feeling their
breath on your cheeks.I’ve learned . . . .
that men would rather be lost for hours
than stop and ask for directions.I’ve learned . . . .
that no one is perfect until you fall
in love with them.I’ve learned . . . .
that life is tough, but I’m tougher.I’ve learned . . . .
that opportunities are never lost;
someone will take the ones you miss.I’ve learned . . . .
that there is nothing better than my
dog waiting for me on the front porch,
wagging his tail when I get home.I’ve learned . . . .
that when you harbor bitterness,
happiness will dock elsewhere.I’ve learned . . . .
that I wish I could have told my mom
that I love her one more time before
she passed away.I’ve learned . . . .
that it is just as wrong to be rude to a
child as to an adult. In fact, it may
be more unforgivable.I’ve learned . . . .
that you should never jump off a diving
board when wearing a bikini.I’ve learned . . . .
that one should keep his words both
soft and tender, because tomorrow
he may have to eat them.I’ve learned . . . .
that a smile is an inexpensive way to
improve your looks.I’ve learned . . . .
that I can’t choose how I feel, but I
can choose what I do about it.I’ve learned . . . .
that a peacock today may be a feather
duster tomorrow.I’ve learned . . . .
that nobody wants to know what you’re
doing until you’re doing something that
you don’t want anyone to know.I’ve learned . . . .
that when your newly born grandchild
holds your little finger in his little
fist, that you’re hooked for life.I’ve learned . . . .
that those who reach their goals too
easily have aimed too low.I’ve learned . . . .
that everyone wants to live on top of
the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.I’ve learned . . . .
that when packing for a vacation, you
should take half as many clothes as you
think you will need and twice as much
money. Your clothes and money should
run out about the same time!I’ve learned . . . .
that stain resistant carpet will stain.I’ve learned . . . .
that it is best to give advice in only
two circumstances; when it is requested
and when it is a life-threatening
situation.I’ve learned . . . .
that a good friend is the one who tells
you how you really look in your jeans.I’ve learned . . . .
that the less time I have to work with,
the more things I get done.I’ve learned . . . .
that we should be glad God doesn’t
give us everything we ask for.More . . . Timeless wisdom . . .
I’ve learned . . . .
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be
loved. The rest is up to them.I’ve learned . . . .
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don’t care back.I’ve learned . . . .
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.I’ve learned . . . .
that it’s not what you have in your life,
but who you have in your life that counts.I’ve learned . . . .
that you can get by on charm for about
fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better
know something.I’ve learned . . . .
that you shouldn’t compare
yourself to the best others can do.I’ve learned . . . .
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.I’ve learned . . . .
that it’s taken me a long time
to become the person I want to be.I’ve learned . . . .
that you should always leave
loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.I’ve learned . . . .
that you can keep going
long after you think you can’t.I’ve learned . . . .
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.I’ve learned . . . .
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.I’ve learned . . . .
that regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first, the passion fades
and there had better be something else
to take its place.I’ve learned . . . .
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.I’ve learned . . . .
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.I’ve learned . . . .
that sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me
the right to be cruel.I’ve learned . . . .
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.I’ve learned . . . .
that just because someone doesn’t love
you the way you want them to doesn’t
mean they don’t love you with all they have.I’ve learned . . . .
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you’ve had
and what you’ve learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you’ve celebrated.I’ve learned . . . .
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and
what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.I’ve learned . . . .
your family won’t always be there for you.
It may seem funny, but people you aren’t
related to can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren’t always biological.I’ve learned . . . .
that no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you every once in a
while and you must forgive them for that.I’ve learned . . . .
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by
others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.I’ve learned . . . .
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.I’ve learned . . . .
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.I’ve learned . . . .
that just because two people argue,
it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other
And just because they don’t argue,
it doesn’t mean they do.I’ve learned . . . .
that two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.I’ve learned . . . .
that we don’t have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them.
“Do you ever just get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? you don’t want to smile, and you don’t want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don’t know exactly what is wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting.. and being alone never was. At least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who wont take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer. You feel the way you do just BECAUSE. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.” – Lora M. Heacock
It hurts to smile… I feel like I’m going to burst into tears. There’s just some days like this when it all seems to be wrong and nothing feels right.
Dear whoever is reading this,
I understand how rough things are right now. I just want to let you know that things will get better, I promise. Keep holding on just a little bit longer. I know you feel like nobody really cares. You’re wrong, stop denying it. I care, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this. You’re not alone, we may be miles away but we’re all going through the same things. Please keep holding on.
Whoever you are, I love you. 🙂